He Who Must Not Be Jamesed
by xxpiratexx
Summary: My mind is plotting against me, I swear." Join our Head Girl, Lily Evans, as she goes through life with the Head Boy, James. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed, that is. Hopefully to be novel-length Rated just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed**

**Chapter: 1**

**Author: xxpiratexx (ME)**

**Summary: My mind is plotting against me, I **_**swear**_

**Muse / Beginning Idea: Totally stolen from Chocolate Covered Love, by johnnydicaprio. I'm planning on taking the first chapter, writing it in my style, and making the rest my own. :D **

**Author's Note: Um…Read and Review? **

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My mind is plotting against me, I _swear. _It wants to kill me. No, worse! It wants to ruin my life and force me to live it!

But I can't confront it just yet. Because I'm on the run, you see. On the run from a despicable piece of particularly brown soap scum looking for an explanation.

I'd rather be on the run from my _mind_. And that's saying something. Because, unlike the devilishly hand—I mean despicable piece of soap scum (Well, I simply must admit that he's a boy. Because he is. But 'despicable piece of soap scum' is a metaphor. And not a particularly nice one at that.), my mind can come up with surprisingly cruel and unusual punishments.

Whoops! He's catching up. I've got to stop thinking and GO! I've got to run!

Actually, it's pretty ridiculous that I'm trying to run. I mean, I'm an excellent runner. But the one person that just _has_ to chase me (for good reason, I admit) HAS to be the only bloke in the whole of Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that can run faster than me.

Oi.

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed.

I'm rather proud of that nickname, actually. I thought of it when—

Oh, dear God! Run, Lily, RUN! He's catching up! Don't look back! DON'T LOOK BACK!

Bloody hell.

Yeah, thanks, mind.

You just HAD to betray me now. This is MUTINY, this is! I'm telling you not to look back and WHAT DO YOU DO? You look back.

And you just HAVE to melt whenever He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed (HWMNBJ) shows up in my field of vision, peripheral or otherwise.

I don't want to look back, and you make me look back. _Then, _I see HWMNBJ, and I can't run anymore because, well, I don't even know why! My mind (you) turns into mush. That's a double whammy. As I said, I am capable of surprisingly cruel and unusual punishments. And that was one of them. Oh, Gods. Why do I have to be so brilliant?

So now I'm sitting in the bloody HALL in the bloody middle of the bloody night waiting for HWMNBJ.

Admittedly, that didn't take long. He probably would have caught up even if I had kept running.

"Lily?" HWMNBJ says, panting. I smirk. He notices. "Look, it's not my fault I'm tired after chasing you around the school."

My smirk stays firmly in place. THANK YOU, MIND!

He offers a hand to help me up. I notice the beads of sweat on it and refuse wave it off.

YES! MIND, I LOVE YOU!

"Would you like to talk at the tower?"

"Yes to the heads' tower, no to the talking." I say brattily.

He looks at me seriously, then wipes his hands on his green shirt. "We have to talk eventually."

"We are talking." I say craftily. "But we don't have to talk about _that_." I take off running now, knowing I can easily reach the tower, change, and pretend to be asleep by the time he gets there. What with my little break and head start (HWMNBJ stared openmouthed at me for about a minute while I ran) and his tiredness and sweatiness, I can easily conclude that we won't have to talk about _that_.

Not tonight, anyways.

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**A/N: Loved it? Hated it? This is my pathetic attempt at trying to start a humorous, novel-length fic. Don't worry. There will be SOME seriousness. Just not in this chapter. And probably not in the next one, either. But I'll only post the next chapter of people (At least two?) review telling me they want the rest of it. Which, by the way, isn't written yet. xD. So, what are you waiting for?**

**REVIEW!**

**A cookie for all of you reviewers,**

**Rose**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed**

**Chapter: 2**

**Author: xxpiratexx (ME)**

**Summary: IT'S MORNING?**

**Author's Note: Um…Read and Review? Larger Author's Note at the bottom, don't worry. I know you love listening to me rant. :D **

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What the bloody—? IT'S MORNING?

Oh, Gods. Last night, I probably pretended to be asleep SO WELL that I ACTUALLY fell asleep.

Without doing the 30-inch Charms essay.

Oh, Gods.

Oh, dear Gods.

This'll be the first assignment I've missed in…a year! No, wait. I didn't bother trying that Arithmancy crap last week. This'll be the first assignment I've missed in…6 days!

Admittedly, that's not that bad.

So…I don't think I'll bother trying to do it this morning.

The hell with forgotten 30-inch Charms essays.

Now…off to breakfast! Delightful breakfast with pumpkin juice and eggs and orange slices and apple slices and grapes and English muffins and marmalade.

NO! MARMALADE! WHY, MIND, WHY?

I almost made it a whole five minutes without thinking about _that_. Then, YOU butt in.

Go die in a ditch, mind. Go die in a ditch.

You know what? My 'sudden impulses' can join you as well.

Ugh. So can my lips.

To the outside world (outside world anybody other than Lily and her mind), it _may_ have looked like I snogged HWMNBJ at breakfast yesterday.

But, really, I didn't!

YOU of all people (or whatever minds are) should know.

YOU'RE the one that made me do it! You forced my eyes to look at the empty pot of marmalade. YOU forced my taste buds to shrivel up and die when I had finished my plate and started on the _plain_ English muffin. YOU forced my eyes (really, what do you have against my eyes?) to notice that HWMNBJ (who was, unfortunately, sitting right next to me as it was the only empty place that I could sit) had some marmalade on his lips. And then YOU committed the most heinous crime of all.

YOU forced me to swallow my dignity and kiss HWMNBJ just so I could get at the marmalade.

It's all your fault.

I'll glare at you (if that's possible) all through breakfast today.

You know what's ironic?

The "marmalade" was really revolting, sweet, strawberry jam.

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**A/N: Loved it? Hated it? I'll never know unless you REVIEW!**

**The next chapter might be in a different POV. Let me know if you think it should be LILY POV or SOMEBODY ELSE. Kindly specify the 'somebody else'. I'm frantically trying to memorize Longfellow's poem. The Paul Revere one. So…I'm sorry for the shortness of chapters. I'll try to get them longer somehow…they'll DEFINITELY be longer soon, though. As soon as I memorize.**

**I'm at a sleepover right now, so PLEASE excuse me for any typos, as I am trying to get this up while the other girls are having a rather dramatic pillow fight.**

**REVIEW!**

**A cookie for all of you reviewers,**

**Rose**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed**

**Chapter: 3**

**Author: xxpiratexx (ME)**

**Author's Note: See Bottom**

Mind, you are pitiful when it comes to resolving conflicts. PITIFUL!

Emma and Marlene were yelling at each other like…like…like I don't know what! It was that bad. And then YOU FORCED  me to just stand there dumbly, watching them.

You're lucky Alice was there. Otherwise, somebody would probably sue you. Because there would be two unexplained dead bodies and a bemused Lily Evans' mind.

ALICE stopped the fight. Well…helped them not kill each other. HER mind knew it was the best thing to do to force them to write angry letters to each other. Even though those letters were full of foul language, Alice shredded them with magic as soon as they were completed.

She's brilliant. They got all their thoughts out AND they didn't hurt each other, verbally or physically.

And of course, YOU didn't pay any attention to the words they were screaming at each other so YOU don't know what the fight was about!

And I'm not telling you. So there.

HOW CAN I TELL YOU?

I. Don't. Bloody. KNOW!

Hey…wait…what are you doing? WHY am I walking towards the corner where Marlene and Emma are glaring at each other? Mind, you had better not make words come out of my mouth, I am warning—

"Um…so… What caused this…this pandemonium?"

MIND, GO TO HELL!

The stony glares Emma and Marlene were giving each other before I showed up stay firmly in place. All is silent.

Then, finally, Marlene's mind makes her speak. "Why don't you ask the guy-stealer extraordinaire?"

Emma glowers. "Excuse me, but last time I checked, HE was never yours!"

"Um…no, but I TOLD you I fancied him!"

"NO, you didn't! You said that you liked ONE of the Marauders. You never specified! I thought you meant Remus!" Emma shrieks.

"Well, I didn't!" Marlene snaps.

They give each other the finger.

Well…while Emma and Marlene momentarily forget I am there…let's think, shall we?

YES, mind. I am MAKING you think.

Sheesh.

Work with me here.

Let's make a list of Marauders.

1. HWMNBJ

2. Peter

3. Sirius

4. Remus

We can eliminate HWMNBJ. Emma and Marlene have deluded themselves into believing that HWMNBJ and I are the perfect couple. Another argument for another day. It's not Peter, either. I mean…it's PETER! HOW could it be Peter? It isn't.

And…based on the conversation, it's not Remus either.

It's Sirius.

Sirius is who they're fighting over.

Sirius So-Dead-When-I-Get-My-Hands-On-Him Black.

**A/N: You like? You hate? Review!**

**This is just something random I thought up. I'm working on memorizing that blasted poem. It's seriously annoying (or should I say SIRIUSLY annoying), but I've got to do it.**

**So…you're dealing with my short chapters right now.**

**THANK YOU for bearing with my lack of updating.**

**Well…not lack. Just…unbearable slowness.**

**Rose**


	4. Chapter 4

Title: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed

**Title: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed**

**Chapter: 4**

**Author: xxpiratexx (ME)**

**Author's Note: See Bottom**

Mind, I need your help deciding something. I can't ask Marlene or Emma, for obvious reasons. And Alice…well…she's as hopeless at deciding things as I am.

See, I have two options.

1. Explain the conflict between Emma and Marlene to Sirius, adding some choice swear words and hexes when appropriate. Berate him for going out with (and making out with) Emma when it was SO  obvious Marlene liked (s?) him.

OR

2. Don't even bother explaining. Instead, get HWMNBJ to explain the whole situation and give Sirius a male heart-to-heart. This will save Sirius from unnecessary torture. I mean, even I have to admit that this whole predicament is at least 25 Emma's fault. (25 Marlene's, for not taking action before this happened, and 50 Sirius's because if he wasn't alive, this wouldn't be happening.)

So…what do you say??

The second? I know, I was leaning a bit to that myself.

Thanks, mind!

You know, sometimes I can really count on you.

I think.

I mean…you aren't making me choose the second option to get revenge for all the foul language I've hurled your way, are you?

Because that would be bad.

The conflict would stay unresolved, and it'd end up with me and Alice being forced to pick sides. Sirius would be confused. HWMNBJ might have strained relations with his best mate. And…I could ruin everything by babbling while trying to ask HWMNBJ for his help.

Oh, shoot.

While talking with him, I'll also have to find SOME way to avoid talking about _that_.

I hope you're not doing this to spite me, mind, I really don't.

You know what? Sometimes, I REALLY HATE YOU!

I mean…hehe…don't be mad at me and impair my judgment. Um…tea and crumpets, mind?

**A/N: You like? You hate? Review!**

**Gah! That poem is STILL not memorized.**

**  
The next chapter will be about Lily and James' conversation! I'm aware that this chapter wasn't as amusing to read, but I had to get some seriousness (and Siriusness) in. Next chapter will be funny and serious, if I can help it. I might have to compromise some funny, though. The next chappie isn't written yet, and I'm still frantically trying to memorize!**

**  
AAH!**

**Tea and crumpets,**

**Rose**

**(P.S. Thanks AGAIN for bearing with my slow updating. As soon as I get a chapter written, I update it! I just wrote this chapter today! I'll try and do another one for tomorrow, I really will. Till then.)**


	5. Chapter 5

Title: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed

**Title: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed**

**Chapter: 5**

**Author: xxpiratexx (ME)**

**Author's Note: See Bottom**

Mind, I'm going to do it. I'm going to walk right up to HWMNBJ (which is pretty ironic, since I've been avoiding him recently) and ask for his help.

And I'll be curt and serious and to-the point. So much so that he won't have time to bring _that_ up.

Yeah, right. I wish.

Mind, help me out here! Force my legs to get up and walk over to HWMNBJ! Do it!

Um…nothing's happening.

On second thought…DON'T DO IT! DON'T! I'M NOT READY!!

Oh, shoot.

When I want to be forced to walk, there's no action. When I don't want to walk, the ol' legs just get up and start moving.

Are you and my legs, like, in cahoots?

Oh, no. I am slowly approaching HWMNBJ. He's getting closer. And closer. At least he's not with Sirius. He's…alone, in fact. He's not looking up. Maybe I can trick my legs into walking right past him so he doesn't notice—

"Hey." –me. My mouth precedes me, as always.

He looks up from his homework. "Oh, hi, Lily." He's perfectly coordinated because HIS mind is amazing, so he suavely gestures to the seat beside him. "Sit down, will you?"

I would like to scream "NO!" and run away from the lion's den—the handsome lion's den, mind you—but I do not. Mind, YOU have me NOD my frickin' ASSENT and sit down.

I have a plan, at least. I plan to start talking first because YOU, mind, have been smart and helpful for ONCE in your BLOODY LIFE and realized that if I talk first, I can take control of the conversation and _that_ will go unmentioned.

You know, mind, sometimes you amaze me.

So…what should I say? QUICKLY, mind, QUICKLY!

HWMNBJ is getting ready to say something!

Open the mouth, open the mouth…

"I hate Sirius."

WHAT? I sit down to have a conversation with the most AMAZING GUY (not that I'd ever admit that, because YOU DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING) to ask a favor from him, and the first thing I do is put down his best mate.

Yeah, thanks a lot, mind.

He looks just as surprised as I am. "Um…what? Why?"

He runs his fingers through his hair. I've noticed that his mind makes him do that when it doesn't know what to do with his hands. It alternates every time. One day it's the left hand, the next day it's the right.

Anyways, back to the conversation.

Mind, where can I take that statement? Oh, Gods. He's staring at me quizzically. Say something, ANYTHING!

"Yes. I hate Sirius. Want to know why? Well…it's because he's gotten between two of my best friends."

"Really?" HWMNBJ asks, raising an eyebrow. "Do tell."

"Well, you see, Marlene has fancied Sirius for quite a while now, and she's never been able to make a move, but it's common knowledge between us girls, and then, one day, she hears a rumor in the hall that Emma and Sirius went out and made out, so because she's fair, she goes and checks with reliable sources to make sure the rumor is true, but then she explodes at Emma. And, honestly, I feel someone should tell Sirius what's going on, because he doesn't seem to know that he's hurt Marlene, even though she HAS been flirting a bit with him recently and made it rather obvious what she feels about him so--"

Whew. I need a breather.

HWMNBJ looks down at the floor before completing my sentence. "…so you feel I should be the one to do tell Sirius what's going on and get him to fix it."

Mind, don't make my face look stunned. I don't need to look stupid just because HE TOOK THE BLOODY WORDS OUT OF MY MOUTH. Just nod sheepishly like a normal girl would do.

Thanks.

"I'll do it," he says. "But only if you promise to talk to me--Oh, who am I kidding? You'll find some way to avoid me. I'll do it only if you talk to me right now about what happened at breakfast a couple days ago…I think YOU know what I'm talking about."

Mind, back out of it now! At least NEGOTIATE or something! Whatever you do, do NOT give in! Even though you know you want to say yes so that you can shake his outstretched hand to see what it feels like. Do NOT give in.

"Deal."

He has a surprisingly firm grip.

**A/N: You like? You hate? Review!**

**Sorry. Still working on that poem. So…was it good? It was pretty long…for me. Ack! GOTTA memorize. Anyways…I promised you conversation, and here it is. I never said there wouldn't be a slight cliffie. You'll have to wait for the REST of the conversation. If there IS one. Maybe Lily'll get out of it again. Bwahahaha.**

**Ha! I'm so evil. You know me. The next chapter isn't written yet, 'cause I'm lazy and write only when the chapter I've written before is up. So…plot ideas? Review! If you're actually READING the Author's Notes, please post 'Strawberry chips' in your review so I know I'm not babbling to nobody.**

**A guy with a nice firm handshake for all of you,**

**Rose**


	6. Chapter 6

Title: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed

**Title: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed**

**Chapter: 6**

**Author: xxpiratexx (ME)**

**Author's Note: This is also a slightly longer chapter! Ha; I couldn't help myself. Sorry for the slowness! Working on that poem AND a new one AND I slammed a couple of fingers in the car door so it was tough to type for a while. So I have excuses. I've got three of them, actually. Without further ado…Chapter 6!**

Mind, mind, mind, MIND! WHAT in the name of ALL that is NOT HWMNBJ have you DONE? Agreeing to something to shake a (warm, smooth, perfect, supple) HAND?

Shallow, shallow, shallow, shallow.

Wait…he's looking at me expectantly! Mind, WHAT SHOULD I SAY? Did he say something to me, waiting for a response?

I can't tell him that I didn't hear him because I was arguing with YOU and spaced out. I mean, he wouldn't understand! It's not like HE has a mind to argue with.

Gosh.

So…think back, mind. He said…

"Well, that's settled. I'll uphold my part of the bargain so long as you uphold yours. So…get upholding!"

Right.

MIND! Get out of this mess! Do something! NO, mind. This is not the time for you to re-notice that HWMNBJ has amazing arms. Yeesh.

So…just talk so I don't look like I'm slow in the head. (Which I AM thanks to you, but we don't want the outside world to know that, now, do we?)

"Yes. So. _That_. The _incident._ Heh."

DID I JUST BLUSH?

He looks at me intensely, waiting for me to continue, but suddenly his eyes change expression! They're inquisitive! They're asking a question!

_DID YOU JUST BLUSH?_

Great. Just great.

So now I can read eyes.

Like some people can read minds. Only I'm reading his eyes and not his mind.

"Um…so…It was NOT what it looked like! I was getting marma-" Say the word, mind. "marma-" Do it. "marma-"

"Marmalade?" HWMNBJ steps in.

"Yeah, that." I say sheepishly. "Anyways, I was getting that stuff, and--"

Mind, WHY are there two girls on top of me?

I'm pretty sure they tackled me.

Who are they? I see…two colors of hair. Lime green and yellow.

Ouch.

It's got to be Marlene and Emma, complete with wands.

And useful hexes memorized.

Double ouch.

Though which is Marlene and which is Emma, I can hardly tell, for their faces are disfigured.

One is sporting a pig snout.

"Get OFF of me!" Pig Snout shrieks.

"I was never ON you! YOU were on ME!" Bird Beak retorts.

And the argument takes off.

Luckily, they've gotten up, so I can give HWMNBJ a helpless glance.

WAIT!

I can save myself from two situations with one action!

Killing…two minds with one stone?

I dunno the expression, but it works here!

Anyways, mind, time to talk.

Smile sweetly now.

"He-Who-Must--I mean…yeah. Heh."

Oh, Gods. The blushing again. Ugh.

And his eyes are being interrogative.

"Forget it, we've got bigger minds to fry."

Whoops.

"FISH! FISH! I mean fish."

Yeah. Continue, mind, because it looks like HWMNBJ is not going to start talking any time soon.

"So…don't you think you're being a bit selfish?"

"Selfish? ME?" HWMNBJ asks, clearly shocked. I shocked him into speaking, anyway.

"Um…yeah. Here you are making me talk…" Heh. Kind of like you, mind. "When two of my-I won't say best- friends are killing each other! Be NICE and Unselfish! Talk to Sirius. Now."

Yeah, thanks, mind.

That idea was golden.

Killer idea, right there.

No, really. No sarcasm.

Give yourself a pat on the back. I mean head. I mean give yourself a pat. If you have hands. Otherwise, just…I don't know…think good thoughts about yourself.

That works.

Think good thoughts about yourself.

Moving along…

HWMNBJ nods. "You're right. But you're_ not _getting out of anything. Not again! You HAVE to tell me about the—ahem—incident at breakfast."

Incident. Funny name he gives for the day it LOOKED like I kissed him.

All right, fine. Maybe our lips DID touch, but not for the reason everyone thought! (**A/N: Reread Chapter 2 for details if you've forgotten)**

RESPOND, mind, RESPOND!

"Fine. Now go talk to him."

I feel like laughing evilly inside! I AM FREE! I DO NOT HAVE TO TALK TO HWMNBJ ABOUT _THAT_ BECAUSE I WILL TAKE CONTROL OF THE CONVERSATIONS WE HAVE AND AVIOD THE TOPIC! I AM FREE!!

HWMNBJ gets up like a knight preparing for battle. He's so glamorous, walking off into the distance. With the acute hearing my mind has so generously given me, I hear a door open and close.

And then open and close AGAIN? And running footsteps?

HWMNBJ appears.

"Oh, shit. Forgot my wand."

Glamorous indeed.

**A/N: You like? You hate? Review!**

**Again, sorry it took such a long time.**

**It was pretty easy to write, but I just didn't have time!**

**You KNOW me by now, posting everything almost as soon as it's done.**

**Not bothering to write the next chapter until I've posted the previous one.**

**Ay.**

**Is that how you spell that Spanish, "Ayyy?" I've always wondered.**

**Don't forget…chocolate HWMNBJ in the review of anybody that's reading this.**

**An un-glamorous guy for all of you reviewers,**

**Rose**

**(Well, if you really WANT a glamorous one…hands out glamorous guys as well)**


	7. Chapter 7

Title: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed

**Title: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-James-ed**

**Chapter: 7**

**Author: xxpiratexx (ME)**

**Author's Note: This is also a slightly longer chapter! Ha; I couldn't help myself. This is ALSO the last chappie. Seriously. I'm not kidding. I hope you enjoy it.**

I'm going to splurge at breakfast today. Yes. You heard me right. I, _Lily Evans_, shall _SPLURGE!_ I know, I know. Anybody that knows you, mind, will think me insane.

But nobody really knows you, and if they do, I do not care!

Want to know why I shall splurge?

I am celebrating! HWMNBJ went into Sirius's room and gave that Sirius Black a good talking-to.

Accompanied by a lot of hexes.

And jinxes, too, as a matter of fact.

Not that I would know, because, of course, I did not use anything from a certain joke shop that allows consumers of the said good to listen to conversations.

No, sirree.

Somehow, Sirius realized the error of his ways and went to apologize and everything was just peachy keen.

Not.

Sirius said that Emma was just a "one-date fling" and that he "had no intention of further pursuing any girl that did not want to get in bed" with him.

You got that right. He actually used the word 'pursuing'.

So, thanks so Sirius's pigheadedness, Emma and Marlene yet again share a mutual feeling for Sirius, but this time it doesn't make them hate each other.

They both mutually hate Sirius Black.

It does bring out the worst in them, though, and yesterday at breakfast, Sirius was sporting a pig snout AND a bird beak.

Do not ask me how that was possible because I really don't know.

And if I don't know, mind, there is no _way_ you can know. Is there? Well…unless you're holding something back or something.

So Emma and Marlene are talking (not shouting, mind you) to each other again. That leaves all problems solved.

Almost.

I still have to explain that marmalade incident to HWMNBJ.

You know, because you, mind, so CONVENIENTLY come with a conscience.

But I'm not going to let that—or _that_—spoil my breakfast.

No, seriously, watch it spoil my breakfast.

"LILY!"

"Yeah?"

"You coming? Marlene and Alice are ready, and so am I."

"I'll be right there."

Hmm…green top? Blue? Green and white striped? Blue and white striped?

Green. It brings out my eyes, my only elegant (-ish) feature.

Don the shirt, mind, don the short.

Ah. Some mascara and eyeliner and eye shadow and…we're ready!

"Ooh! Lily, you look absopositilutely spiffy!"

"I agree completely, Lils!"

And then I just have to blush. Yeesh. "So do you. Hey, we're all amazing!"

"Whoot! Let's have the perfect breakfast!"

"Agreed."

Ah. This is happiness.

Blueberry waffles, choco. chip pancakes, toast, and, of course, marmalade. Not to mention about a gallon of pumpkin juice.

"Hey, Lily."

"Hey". I look up. "Wait….WHAT? I mean…um…hey."

"Hey. You owe me an explanation." HWMNBJ says, his dark eyes penetrating - - all right, that's enough. Now I sound like one of Marlene's romance novels. Not that I've, like, read them or anything.

"Yeah. I suppose I do."

He doesn't say anything, just waits for me to talk. Emma, Alice, and Marlene have subtly gone over to the Ravenclaw table, claiming their pumpkin juice is fresher.

"Look. There was marmalade involved, I'll say that."

A smile makes its way onto his face. "I got that from our last conversation."

"It's a long story, all right? Maybe someday, when we're married, I'll tell--"

NO! Why, mind, WHY? WTF? How could you do this to me! No!

An eyebrow raises on HWMNBJ's face, making him look even more godlike. Or demigodlike, in case that, you know, offends the gods or something.

"Does it even matter? What happened in the past…well, it happened. We need to move on." I manage to rescue myself.

His face falls.

"_WE_ need to move on."

It climbs back up to Mountain Smile.

"So…"

"So…"

"So…"

"Yeah, I'm pretty much admitting I fancy you."

"And you've never questioned that I fancy you."

And as much as I want to say, "Of course not", I can't, because my lips are busy doing, erm, something else.

The something else isn't like the marmalade something else. This something else is full of passion.

"Hogsmeade on Saturday?"

"Sounds great." Then, I allow my mouth to utter the unspeakable word. "See you, _James_."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**A/N: You like? You hate? Review!**

**Again, sorry it took such a long time.**

**I'm pretty happy with how this turned out…**

**IT IS DONE!! Do not worry, I shall be starting another chaptered fic. Or something. Or just random oneshots until I have the time to start a chaptered fic.**

**Au revoir,**

**Rose**


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